All I can hear in the stillness of the night is my shallow breathing
The only thing I can see is the blinking of the clock
It is so late and this big bed feels so empty
Huddling under the covers trying to keep warm
Yet I just can't seem to stop shaking

I wonder where you are on this night and if you ever think of me
I want to close my eyes and escape the solitude
But even there I am haunted by your absence
Shattered dreams of separation and loss
There is no where I can hide

Please come back to bed and hold me through one more night
Tell me lies about how everything will be ok
I want to feel safe and I want to feel loved
Just lie to me and tell me this will last forever
Because I don't want to feel like this anymore

the words are slowly spilling from my fingers
each vowel and consonant
dripping like the life blood of language onto the screen
a pitter patter spreading into paragraphs
nothing but groups of letters
what new combination will appear next
is there a will to what I say
or is that only on reflection

I have had a hard time coming up with a good rant now for awhile and I blame it on my general sense of happiness. Things right now are going pretty good for me. Though only rants I have in me right now would have to do with having to write papers, but dammit everyone I know has this problem so there is no need for me to illuminate it to everyone. The only other one that springs to mind is why the fuck is revelstoke so so so far away from victoria. I mean what the hell is with that anyway. Jesus sure fell asleep on switch for this one. I am sure once my papers are all cleared out of the way and I start reading the newspaper on a daily basis again this page will be full of anger and bile but until then you all have a good day.

Death of a Dream

Ok warning people if you read comics and haven't read Captain America 25 and you want to then read no further SPOLIERS!!!!!
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It caught me by surprise, I mean he made it out of Civil War so I thought he was in the clear, none the less Captain America is dead. This is pretty big as far as the Marvel universe goes. I would put it on par with the death of Superman, but I think this death has a bit more of a social context then sups did. It happens just as Civil War has wrapped up and the Marvel universe is know moving on in a new direction, as is the world at large. The question the writers lead us to became, is there a place in this new world for Captain America. The Answer is apparently no. The America that he stood for no longer exists and the dream that went along with it is dead. Tony Stark wins which means security has finally trumped liberty. This is what happens in Civil War, and this is personified in the death of Captain America. He was a champion for all those that believed in the America that gave us "give me liberty or give me death". He fought the Nazis for these ideals and finally he fought against those he used to call friend for those ideals. It remains to be seen who, if anyone, will pick up the torch that has fallen with his death. If the final pages of Civil War are any indication it will be the Punisher. This would so weird and fitting in a certain sense though. I have always seen the Punisher as just Captain America for a different generation, one that had to deal with all the horror that the Vietnam war brought. So if Punisher does take over there could be some really cool themes and stories to be explored. One being how did we lose that dream what happened to all those high ideals that once were held in such high regard. Are people that scared of all the threats out there that they really feel the lose of liberty is payable price for security. Are such things as detention without trial, torture, and murder practices that are now deemed to be necessary. These are all questions raised by Civil war and the fallout from it. Man it is a good time to be reading comics.

300

HOLY SHIT!!!!! I just finished watching a sneak preview of the movie 300 and it was fucking amazing. This movie fulfilled all the desires I had for it. It looked visually impressive and at points it looked like david lynch might have had a hand in these movie due to the utter insanity of some of the scenes. I mean a goat playing a lute, I had flash back to twin peaks. Then there were the action scenes. Every fight scene slowed down to the point where you can see all the action in its blood splattering goodness. I have never seen a head getting cut off look so cool. I really can't say enough about this movie it was that good.

It has been a while since I last posted and I should probably apologize to all my faithful readers. Since I don't have any well fuck I won't. I have been busy the last few weeks what with reading break and a new girl in my life. All these things lead me to not be in front of my comp screen as often. In any case here is an update.

Reading break in Big White
What else can I say I love snowboarding. This can not be emphasized enough. When I am on the mountain nothing else matters. It is at this moment that I truly feel the most free. The trip was fucking amazing. We got the party started on the bus ride there with the traditional passing of the fireball. 2 bottles before we even got the hostel. We then proceeded party like you only can on the first night. None the less I still manged to get up at 8 the next morning and hit the slopes. The first day though was a blizzard. Visibility was next to nill but hey the snow was great so who cares. After another night of drinking games(damn ozzies) the day was sunny and beautiful and so much fresh snow. It was like waking up in heaven. The day was spent pounding through fresh tracks and dropping cliffs amongst tree runs. The best run of the trip happened this day. After a little break in the woods to partake in some ross rebligati steroids if you know what I mean we hit some untouched powder directly under the chairlift. It was perfect people watching is always a rush and the desire to not fuck up adds a little pressure but ohhh it was such a good run and I managed to push myself the whole way down making turns that anyone could be proud of. Back to the hostel for another night of drinking games and then another sunny day. Yet another night of drinking games and one more day on the hill in another blizzard. The last night was the final hurrah and the fireball was broken out again. After that it was just a bus ride and a ferry ride home. All in all an amazing trip that was much needed.